To my Protestant Friends and Family

I am writing this to all my Protestant friends and family, who have expressed concern over my family's journey so far in learning about and considering the Catholic faith. I know some of you view the Catholic faith as a branch of Christianity, while others of you view it in a more negative light and do not even consider it Christian. I feel the need to write this, so that I'm not having to explain our reasons for exploring the Catholic faith repeatedly.

I know some of you are concerned, whereas others are just confused or think it odd that we are looking into Catholicism. I want you to know that none of us take this lightly. Although my reading is going quickly and my mind is racing with information, we are in no rush to convert immediately. We are seeking God's truth and are on a faith journey, as we all will be our whole lives as we strive to convert our hearts to be in tune with that of God. For those of you who can not understand why we are looking into this Catholic faith, it is that we have been repeatedly shown that Protestantism is so divided, and that the teaching of sola scriptura leaves much room for individual interpretation (hence the division in Protestantism of so many denominations) and leaning on our own understanding rather than that of what has been given to us by Christ. We are looking for answers, looking to find the fullness of the church that Jesus established. We are studying history and writings of the early church, and have been surprised. As I said, we are on a journey, we do not know where we will end up, but we would ask that you be supportive and in prayer that we would find the truth of God.

To those of our dearest friends, who believe the Catholic church to not even be of God, I understand how difficult this must be for you to understand. I believe you are well intentioned and full of love and concern for us. I understand your desire to pray for us - but I would ask that your prayers reflect that of us finding God's truth, and not what you hold to be truth. There are so many denominations in Protestantism that claim to be the ones who interpret the Bible correctly, and there is so much division over this. I do not want to add to that. How can any in the Protestant faith know if their understanding of scripture is more correct than that of the over 20,000 other churches and groups who believe they have the correct understanding? I would ask that you research the history of the church for yourselves. Read the writings of the early church fathers. Go to unbiased sources for your information as we have had to do. It has been more difficult to find, but it is comforting to know that we are reading unbiased information. The Catholic church is not an enemy. Rather it is a group of Christians seeking after God's own heart as much as the Protestant faith is.

I love you all, and I appreciate all the concern, all the prayers, and to others all of the support you have offered as we have begun this amazing journey. Please know we don't want any ill will or argument between us. We are all seeking after the Lord and wishing to serve him. We are all on our own journey which is being guided by our loving Heavenly Father.

Whirlwind

Everything feels like I am inside whirlwind. Things are happening so fast and just whooshing and sweeping in and picking me up and throwing me about. But I don't feel hurt or scared - I feel like I'm flying! Soaring! There are so many things I am learning and beginning to understand. I don't feel confused and stressed, I feel relief! I feel like I don't have to search and contort myself to try and understand - I don't have to reinvent the wheel anytime I want to understand God. Its been done. He has established it all. It is there for any and all to know and understand. And its incredible. I can't get into everything because I am certainly not an expert, but I cant tell you this journey that I am on - learning history, learning the Word of God, praying to Him in earnesty and knowing that there are so many praying for me and my family, and that one of them is the mother of my Lord, my Holy Mother, who cared enough about me to seek me out and draw me closer to her Son and My God, its an incredible feeling. I don't know where I will be in a year. I don't know everything and I don't claim to. But I do know that more has been revealed to me in the past week spiritually, than has happened in my entire life - and its because I am NOT leaning on my own understanding, but on the promises of God that His truth and His church will continue forever, and that even the gates of hell can not prevail against it. I am finally beginning to know what it feels like for my yoke to be easy and my burden light. It is an amazing feeling!

Gregorian Chant

God is really after me lately! Yesterday another amazing thing happened, and I seriously had chills and was about to cry.

I have no idea what the Gregorian Chant is, really, no idea. But now I am certainly going to be looking it up! We stopped at the little Catholic bookstore I had been to previously, because I wanted to look for this other book I had read about that sounded like I might be able to glean some info from. We got there (me and the kids), and I heard the chant being played. We looked around, I found a book, got the kids a couple little coloring books about the sacraments and the mass, and went to go check out. I was paying, when all of a sudden Will (who is 2.5) says "WAIT A MINUTE! I hear (insert a word I couldn't understand here." So I said "What Will? You hear the music?" And he looked at me like I was crazy and said "NO, I hear Jesus! But where he is? I don't see him"

I froze. The woman checking me out said she had chills. She asked me if he said what she thought he said, and I told her yes he sure did. Now, there were pictures of Jesus all over the place. Will can look at a picture of Jesus and tell you its Jesus, so I knew that it wasn't just he saw a picture and was being weird or something, because he so easily could have pointed at a picture and been like oh its Jesus! But he didn't do that. He heard something, because he was LOOKING for Jesus to actually physically be around. And he told me that it wasn't the music he was hearing. The woman at the store told me that the Gregorian chant is a really old form of prayer, and that what she just saw was so amazing, and that I should look into buying the chant on cd or something to have at home because maybe it had some strong meaning for my 2 year old. Abby was mad that she didn't hear Jesus. =o)

Scott Hahn and Memaw

Looks like Scott Hahn is going to be speaking in town in a couple month - I think I will have to go listen!
http://www.scotthahn.com/schedule/12-2011/events/st-theresa-catholic-church-3847.html

I just got off the phone with my Memaw (my stepdad's mom, but she is like my grandma really and truly), and she is looking around her crazy packed house (she saves everything) for some books for me to read. She thinks she has a catechism and Catholic Bible for me. =o) I love Memaw.

Vagabond

All this time like a vagabond

A homeless stranger

I've been wandering

All my life you've been calling me

To a home you know

I've been needing

I'm a broken stone

So lay me in the house you're building

Coincidence

I name my dog "Lady"

I end up at an event listed in a Protestant church bulletin that is attended by almost completely Catholics.

I am asked to say a Rosary on the 2nd day of October.

I continue to pray it at home using the computer, because it meant something to me when I had prayed it before.

I wander into a Catholic bookstore and am GIVEN a rosary.

I stumble across something today, that October is the month of the Holy Rosary.

Coincidence? Its seeming rather doubtful.

Finding Me

Sunday I went to Life Chain, said a rosary with a sweet woman, was completely moved by the experience as I had never been since several years ago when I would try to attempt to say it, and I've been saying it daily now, for 3 days. Today I stopped in at this little Catholic bookstore nearby while Abby was at her running practice, because I had nothing else to do and thought I could look around and just get the time to pass by. I ended up talking to this woman working in the store, and told her about my experience with the rosary on Sunday. Turns out she makes the ones that are for sale in the store, and she wanted me to pick out any one that I loved and to take it for my very own as her gift to me! It is absolutely beautiful. I couldn't believe it. I seriously was in tears in the store, and on the way to get Abby was on the verge of weeping. I haven't felt that kind of raw and amazing emotion, ever maybe. At least, not over my faith. It was awesome and incredible and disconcerting at the same time. I wonder what God is up to. But I know he is up to something deep in my heart. Especially since I walked out of the store with some books also on the faith. Every time I go another way, somehow the Catholic faith finds a way - to find me.