I make mistakes. A lot. I mess up on a lot of stuff. I repeat the same mistakes over and over and over. And so do my kids. And they will continue to do so. No amount of wonderful and amazing parenting on my part will stop them (ha). So, I'm trying to be more realistic. I'm trying to realize mistakes are going to be made, and most likely those same mistakes will be repeated over and over and over. Whatever issues and sins my kids struggle with, they will most likely continue to struggle with. And I can't fix it. I can only love them, do my best to guide them, and pray because really, its not up to me at all. Cause really, I haven't done such a great job at fixing myself yet.
But its hard. Because I want to blame myself. It seems logical. And because of course, we want better for our kids. And maybe, because for me anyway, having well behaved kids may be a bit of a pride issue for me. So yes, I want my kids to be wonderful people because I love them and want the best for them and hope for them to serve God and become more like Him, but also...because I don't want to be the parent of "those" kids.
Going to work on myself some more now. Geez.
Kelli, you're kids are great! I think we all feel the way you described, at least, I know I do. Keep praying, keep your eyes on the Lord. He will help you, and the kids! =]
ReplyDeleteHey Ellen! Yes, they are great. And I know that. But I read a blog the other day that really got me thinking - do I expect too much of them? Do I expect them to be perfect and well behaved and not break rules, and yet I break those same rules daily? Am I looking at them as people with struggles and sin and pride and anger and all kinds of STUFF just like me, or am I just expecting them to do what I say? And what is my reasoning for wanting them to behave this way - is it always for them, or is a lot of it because of how I want people to see my family and how I want them to see me based on the wonderfulness of my kids. I realized, a lot of my motivations are off, and a lot of my expectations may be too. And, I probably have a lot more work to do on myself before I can get too terribly upset with my kids for exhibiting the same struggles that I have on a daily basis!
ReplyDeleteBut, yes, they are great. We like yours too. Hehe.
You just summed up the same thoughts I have been wrestling with for over a month! I'm keeping the focus on their hearts. We have been doing character studies lately. We pick a character trait and focus on it for a month. In December we did self-control, January was/is respectful, and February is going to be joyful. And, of course, just reminding myself that they are little people, not big people, and we all struggle with sin, that helps a great deal. Also, praying for each child specifically, daily, hourly if needed.
ReplyDeleteAdd me to the list! I've been struggling with this for a while, too. When they spill something or break something, I don't ever get upset or frustrated. We just talk about how people make mistakes - no big deal, it's going to happen with kids. But, it's the way they behave that gets to me. I want them to be sweet ALL the time. No one can be sweet all the time....especially me ;)
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of character studies. We do this in school, but I think it's a great thing to do at home as well.
Haley