Well, Adam and I have made our final decision regarding the birth of this baby.
We are going with the OB I used with Will, and the hospital in The Woodlands. Although I would love to use the birth center, it really is too far for me personally to go during labor. During labor I can manage my pain when I can move, and I can't imagine sitting in a car for an hour without being able to actively do anything to relieve that pain. Adam is also not very comfortable with the drive, and I can not force him to do do something I know he is concerned about.
However, we have come to a bit of a compromise. We will be hiring a doula this time to have with us while I labor at home and when I go to the hospital for the birth. In the past, I realize most of my birth "issues" have come up because during labor I can not, for whatever reason, stand up for myself. I feel intimidated with the doctors and nurses around me, and because I am in no state during labor to really stand up for myself based on my past history, and Adam just isn't confrontational and is very agreeable, we realize that in order for us to make this birth better than my previous ones, we need an extra support person and advocate there with us.
Even though this isn't exactly what I had hoped for, it is definitely something I can be ok with, and I feel much better knowing I will have a doula there with us offering that extra support and care. Its a compromise we are happy with based on all of the factors we had to consider, and I feel good about this decision.
Now...onto interviewing doulas! Let me know if you know of one serving the north Houston/Spring/ Woodlands areas that you would recommend. A midwife in Conroe knows a couple doulas in training who may even be willing to be our doula for free, in order to add our birth to their training requirements. Its all going to work out, and I feel so much better now. Its like a weight is gone! No more tears. =o)