Friday, December 9, 2011

Decisions Decisions. Sigh.

So...I'm kind of at a crossroads right now in figuring out this whole "where am I gonna have this baby" issue.

I don't want a hospital birth. I DON'T. I know I don't. I wholeheartedly don't want to do it. Even though the doctor I had with Will, who I would be using again, is wonderful, I don't want to deal with the hospital. Even though my doctor is great about letting me call the shots and do what I need to do, the hospital isn't. And I know I'm going to be hooked up to bags by needles and wires and forced to lay in a bed instead of being able to move around and be comfortable, which will inevitably end in another epidural, and another birth not going how I really want it to.

But. Insurance. And money. Our insurance(s) (goodness) will cover the obgyn and the hospital birth. A Homebirth using a midwife is out of the question with my insurance. Completely uncovered. I would have to pay it all. And honestly, I just don't think that will be feasible unless we rely on our income tax return, and I feel terrible asking Adam and my family to sacrifice that money just so I can stay home.

So, on to option 3. Birth Center, which our insurance will cover only 2 places in all of Houston. 1 in North Houston near where we will be (but I have met this particular midwife and am NOT excited at ALL about using her...horror stories). OR...I can use a midwife and birth center WAY out in Pearland, which is an hour from where I will be living. And I just don't know if that is even realistic considering the number of appointments at the end of pregnancy, and I just can't imagine myself being in labor in the car for over an hour driving there. And Adam is worried about potentially having a baby in the car and being a news story, haha.

So. I have some decisions to make. And I just don't know. Sigh. So what would YOU do? Cause I am at a loss at this point. I feel like none of my options are anywhere near ideal, and I in all my pregnancy hormone glory am FREAKING out. So tell me its all gonna be ok and work out one way or another, and let me know what you would do in my situation.

Oh, I could also beg the inlaws to pay for it, but I don't think that's a good idea at all. ;o)

13 comments:

  1. I can tell you what I would do, but I think you already know. The last 2 pregnancies we used a midwife, and birthed at home. NOTHING can compare to this. I will NEVER use a hospital for birth again. Unless, of course, it was medically necessary, which birth usually is not. Even though we had no insurance, and we don't bring in very much money, home birth was a way cheaper option. Not to mention the most healthy one. It was definitely a bit of a struggle to get it all paid by the third trimester but Lord willing we did. Was there sacrifice? Yes. We had to sacrifice some comforts to make sure we had the money but we gladly did it because we knew it was the best possible decision we could make for our baby, and our family. That's just us though. What we did, and will do with any future pregnancies. Seriously, it is an experience like NO other! =]

    Oh, and it's all going to be okay. Just keep your eyes on the Lord. =]

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  2. Thanks Ellen. =o)

    Unfortunately (kinda) in our case, insurance will cover almost completely a hospital birth with an OBGYN, and we will have little if no out of pocket expense at all. Same would be the case at either of the 2 covered birth centers. Our only expenses would really be driving the car to appointments and the birth.

    With homebirth, oddly enough, for us it would be the most expensive option, simply because of the insurance coverage we do have. So its a tough call. Also, even if I could have the home birth, I'm not sure I'm there. I don't want to worry about getting things ready, or keeping it clean enough for me to feel comfortable with people coming over (I'm weird), and I honestly would rather be somewhere that I don't have the other kids and pets running around or making noise. During birth I like quiet (other than myself, haha), so I think being at home actually wouldn't work as well as the birth center.

    I talked to the birth center in Pearland this morning, and they really didn't think the distance would be a problem, it would just be if I minded the drive, but it wasn't too far for them at all, and after the baby is born they come to your house to check on you for follow up, so no more going there for several weeks. I'm leaning towards it, but Adam still has baby being born in the car concerns, and he doesn't have the same distaste for hospital births that I do, so I don't think he really understands why I do not want to go back to one. I think he is going to just let me make the call on this though. I just don't want to regret my decision. Lots of praying to do.

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  3. Have you contacted any of the local homebirth midwives? Like I've said, if you call my insurance company & ask if they cover homebirth they would say NO WAY. However, my midwife uses a billing company that makes it possible.
    That being said, if we had to pay out of pocket, I'd still do everything in my power to make it happen (so would my husband). The birth was awesome, yes. I was way more comfortable, yes. But what made it financially more worth it to me was that it was HEALTHIER for baby and me. My midwife cared about my physical and emotional health throughout the pregnancy, resulting in much less weight gain (I am already within 3-5lbs of my pre-pregnancy weight-which was NOT the case w/ my last 4!), less unnecessary testing & drugs (actually none), and a birth free of interventions. The midwifery form of care was so beautiful. My whole family was involved in the care, and came to regard my midwife as a friend. I'm sort of feeling sad not to see her anymore these days!
    I understand your dilemma. I was there 3 times before this due to insurance, and looking back, I wish I had done what it took to have had my girls at home. Like your friend above said, barring a medical emergency, I will never volunteer to have a baby in the hospital again.
    I'm sure that you and your husband will make the best decision for YOUR family though! :-)

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  4. Now that I see your reply to Ellen, it sounds like the birth center would be a wonderful compromise!
    Are your deliveries usually really fast?

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  5. Shortest delivery was Will, and I was in labor for 12 hours total. 6 early labor, 6 active I would say. I am figuring an hour in the car minimum to get to the birth center. Surely I could make it if I don't wait too long to go? Lol. The birth center said they have mothers come from 100 miles away, and they would just want me to leave sooner rather than later. It is really beginning to sound like our best option. The drive may be annoying at times, but I feel like in the end, I would be happier having that inconvenience and having had a good birth experience, rather than go somewhere super close but be in a hospital.

    I've pretty much ruled out the homebirth option, due to my deductible. The insurance said they would gladly cover my homebirth - especially since it would be coming out of the out of network provider deductible, and they know they wouldn't end up paying a penny! They said they would cover my birth 70% after my out of network deductible was met, and at 100% after I met my maximum out of pocket amount. So yah, free for them, lots of money for me! And all the homebirth midwives I have talked to, as soon as they heard who my insurance company was were definitely less than hopeful. What can ya do? =o)

    I think we are going to go ahead and schedule a tour of the birth center, and if we get a good feel for it, we will take the plunge!

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  6. That's great! I think the important thing is that mamas have options. If it were me, I'd say the sacrifice of the drive would be worth it - and I have FULL knowledge of Houston-area traffic (bleh)!
    :-)

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  7. Lets just all pray for a middle of the night baby for me this time around, so we can avoid traffic! Lol!

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  8. Wait, did you say you are ALREADY within 3-5 lbs of your prepregnancy weight?! Goodness! That's amazing! Way to go! Haha. You deserve huge props for that alone!

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  9. Well, I won't post my thoughts ;) BUT, I will keep the Taylor family in my prayers. I hope things work out and you get exactly what you want!

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  10. Haley, I would still LOVE to know your thoughts. Never know, maybe I am missing some factor I hadn't thought of. ;o)

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  11. I am too afraid of something going wrong. When Ellie came out, her heart rate wasn't stable and had to be put on oxygen for a few minutes. Granted, it was most likely due to the meds they had to give me because my blood pressure was dropping so much during labor.
    I admit I don't know near enough about home birth and birthing centers to really have an opinion. I don't know what equipment you do/don't have access to, etc. My thoughts are just based on fears. That's all. I know that labor is a natural thing and most of the time, things are fine, I'm just too afraid of that small percent of babies (or mommies) that need something fast.

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  12. At birth centers, and I believe at most home births too, those kind of issues can be handled and equipment to handle that is standard. Once I started reading up on everything, I was so shocked to realize how many complications are caused by the "medicine" we get in the hospital. Its crazy! Of course, there is a chance of something going wrong at a birth center or homebirth. With Abby having had such a bad time when she was born and having to be intubated and have a chest tube, I do have those fears sometimes. But Will's birth went so smoothly, and I know the odds of something going wrong, and I know that if anything in my pregnancy shows there being an added risk I would be transferred to an obgyn for a hospital birth, and knowing that emt's are on call and the hospital is less than 3 minutes away from the birth center and that the midwives are capable and trained to stabilize patients in an emergency, well I feel ok about that very small risk of something going wrong. I definitely understand your fears though - believe me having gone through Abby's illness makes it all very real. Actually, I began my pregnancy with Will seeing a midwife, and switched to the OB after my first trimester. I was too scared of something going wrong again like had happened with Abby. But now I realize, so much of my pregnancy with Will was spent being scared by medical complications that weren't real - spots on ultrasounds, they not thinking his was measuring the right size on this ultrasound vs. that ultrasound, it was so stressful and for nothing. I know that with midwifery care I won't have that same experience and will be treated like a pregnant woman and not a potentially diseased woman and child just waiting for something bad to happen. Of course if the midwife ever feels something is wrong and I should switch, I would and would be happy to do that. But as long as everything looks fine and feels fine, I just don't want to deal with those nurses and hospital regulations again. Thinking of it makes me so upset. I just don't want to go back unless I have to.

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  13. I didn't know all of that. That makes a lot of sense. I totally understand how medicine and human error is the cause of a lot of complications. I'm a weanie and didn't want the pain so I had an epidural with both girls. I waited a lot longer with Ellie, hoping to go all the way med free, but didn't make it haha

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